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Beelzebub's Last Deal

        Maybe cousin Ningo invoked the devil. But, if so, the devil showed up a little late, materializing in a cloud of flatulent sulfur.
        Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies. At least, if his name tag could be believed. A really ancient demon, this, shedding scales which were in the form of dead cockroaches.
        "Ningo," he said. "I'm here to buy your soul."
        "Ningo's dead," I said. "I'm his executor."
        "Then you'll have to do the deal with me," said Beelzebub. "That's a rule, you know. Heh! They thought I was past it, but I'm not, am I?"
        An ancient demon, too old for this kind of thing and showing it. How to get rid of him?
        "I might be in the market," I said, "if you could give me a free sample or so. How does this work, to start with?"
        And I passed across Ningo's PDA, the infernally complex toy he had been playing with, oblivious to the larger world, when the cement truck hit him on the pedestrian crossing. "Or are you too old for this kind of thing?"
        The jibe went home. Beelzebub bent to the task. Within half an hour, he was starting to smell like dead insects charring in a hot toaster. And, on the hour precisely, he screamed in outraged frustration, threw the PDA in my direction, then exploded in a hot cloud of flatulence, the blast venting upwards and bringing down the ceiling.
        It's nice, in a way, to have confirmation that Ningo's world was every bit as weird as I suspected it might be. And it's also nice to think that the serendipic cement truck may, if you take the long-term view, have saved Ningo from a fate far worse than death. But, on a purely practical level:-
        What am I going to tell the insurance company?

the end

BEELZEBUB'S LAST DEAL - very short devil story - micro story - short short about Beelzebub Lord of the Flies - short flash fiction micro fiction story by Hugh Cook deal-with-the-devil


The subject line said "From Daine about the socks," and although he didn't

" .... so they shoved the gag in my mouth. Then they pulled the hood down over my face."

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This flash fiction story BEELZEBUB'S LAST DEAL
first posted online
2004 May 09 Sunday
Copyright © 2004 Hugh Cook
all rights reserved.